I don't understand. Does AT&T's marketing department want Meatloaf to get to third base with this kid? Jim Steinman you incestuous pedophilic bastard! I think they should have left in the coda where the kid gets frustrated with his two year contract and sings about praying for the end of time.
P.S. Before you hit the send button on that email you've composed, Comic Book Guy, be aware that I know the GoPhone doesn't have a long term contract. I'm stretching the premise for comedic effect.
Also, a Meatloaf Aday sounds like great nutrition advice.